1 Corinthians 1:21

Ephesians 5:6

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

2 Corinthians 4:12

Hebrews 12:1-2

I Believe

I Believe

I wrote this song in 2009 soon after I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Though I had done this already as a child, I didn't understand that having a personal relationship with Jesus meant actively and daily being in an actual relationship with Jesus. I didn't understand that reading the Bible gave me access to knowing what God thinks and wants for me and how God wanted me to live my life in a way that would bring me closer to Him. I didn't understand that studying how Jesus lived and what he said was a model for everyone who believes and that it would take time of walking with Jesus and submitting to the guidance of the Spirit of God to understand more. I didn't understand the Gospel and it has taken me a number of years studying the Bible and actively attending church, Bible studies and talking to other mature Christians to start to understand what the Gospel truly is and what it means for me as a Christian. And the learning continues.

There is still much I don't understand. There is no perfect Christian. I continue to be incredibly imperfect and very awkward at times. It takes time to put off all the sinful thoughts, actions, speech, attitudes and desires and put on the righteousness of God. It takes so long. Letting go of what I thought was right and true and what the world teaches is really hard.  The pressure of the world's ideas is increasing in intensity and sometimes it is difficult to know what is of God and what is not of God. But...

 The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. 

Psalm 145:8. 

So my goal is to be closer to God and to live a life worthy to Him. Which means I have to live His way. Not my way and definitely not the world's way. So I have to study His word more, ask lots of questions, interact with other believers and see how they live out God's word, apply what I am learning to my own life, submit to the Holy Spirit and then trust and wait on the Lord to do His work in me and my life...then repeat. I find myself falling down and picking myself up over and over. The struggle is real. My maturity is stretched so that I understand just how immature I am. It is humbling but the honesty of my life now is the kind of beautiful only God can create. Sometimes it is funny and I have a great time laughing at myself and other times it is incredibly painful. But I still believe. I believe the Gospel is the good news to the bad news of who I was and it is the answer to many of my why's and how to's. I believe that God will be patient with me as I continue to seek a deeper relationship with Him based upon His truth and not my own. I believe Jesus is the King of all kings and that He will never let me go...that when I am too broken to ask for help or to do anything worthy, He prays for me and He carries me. I believe He loves me when I don't and that He will never let me go...even after I am no longer alive. And then... 

"I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." 

Luke 23:43

Writing music brings me great joy. It is a creative outlet that is calming and exciting... and very private. I used to write as a part of my "process" and shared my songs with only a few people. Now, with the added fun of taking photos and putting videos together, it is a means to express my personal relationship with Jesus and all the ways He is using some of the talents He has given to me to mold me and bless others according to His plan. It is no longer mine, but rather, a tool to glorify my Lord and King Jesus Christ. 

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 

Romans 8:26

Ephesians 1:7, 8a